Most Of My Kids Are Stupid...

"... so I teach them something wrong, because its easier."

That is *exactly* what a Bahamian grade one teacher at a Bahamian school (one of the expensive, private ones, too) told me today. I will grant her that too many Bahamian students come to school ill prepared, and do not possess the basic education that should be expected of kids upon entering grade one. That is the fault of their parents.

However, the attitude of a large number of our educators to settle for (below) mediocrity is not helping. It does not help these ill-prepared students to reach the next level. In fact, it reinforces an attitude that knowledge, that education is optional.

It is not! You are perpetuating the problems that are crippling our nation.

If you cannot be bothered to teach our children, then you are in the wrong profession. You tell me your family boasts a long line and tradition of proud educators. Would they be proud if they knew that you knowingly dumb down your students?

On Rehabilitation

Triggered by my last column, "Working Girl," my mind wandered towards a very Bahamian practise, and that is potential employers demanding that potential employees produce "character certificates" issued by the Criminal Records Office as a standard procedure in any job application process. While I thought about it, I began to feel uncomfortable, because surely the idea behind this is that the potential employer will reject any applicant who has a criminal record.

Now ask yourself - and answer truthfully. If you were a business owner, would you hire someone with a criminal record? Most of you, I dare predict, answered in the negative, probably for good reasons. I can see how a school principal would not hire a teacher with a record of sexual molestation of minors. I can see how a bank director might have doubts about hiring a teller with a history of theft. This is a short list of crimes and jobs that have some things in common, but it is still fundamentally flawed.

It is flawed, because it is on the applicant's "character certificate," which means the police KNOW about it, and, excluding the possibility of a completely screwed up system, probably brought the case to the justice system; and the justice system dealt with it, either fining the offender a monetary amount or sentencing them to do time. This, however, means that they paid their debt to society, and now deserve a chance to start over, go past "Go" and collect $200.


Though I will admit that I would feel more than just uncomfortable if my child's teacher was a known sex offender and paedophile, I could construct examples where the offense committed and the job in prospect have little to nothing in common. Yet I believe that many of us are denied these jobs, too, because they have a criminal records. Bahamian society, and especially the Bahamian labour market actively discriminates against persons with criminal records. And the law allows this to happen.

That, however, is exactly the point that I find the most problematic, because if our laws allow this kind of discrimination against persons who have been through our legal, judicial, and penal system, then our law admits that our penal system fails at rehabilitating criminals, which means our judicial system is flawed, because somebody should not be let out of prison unless they are rehabilitated. In short: Our laws state that our laws don't work.

Without trying to sound like I condone crime, but do tell me... What is a former criminal supposed to do if they are rejected by the labour market? Rehabilitation cannot be government's responsibility alone. It is too important to be left to government. Rehabilitation has got to be OUR responsibility, and that means giving people a second chance.


For this to happen, I believe, we need to engage in discourse about legal hiring practises in the Bahamas. Maybe it might be worth considering to ask out legislators to help the aim of rehabilitation by passing a bill prohibiting employers to ask for "character certificates" as part of the application process, even if some lines of work may have to be exempted from this rule.

Maybe there are other factors, too, preventing former convicts from reentering society that also need to be addressed. I do not pretend to have all the answers, but I claim to have the right to ask questions, and I believe it is our duty to enter into a debate, because I know that we cannot truthfully say that all is well in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas in the year 2009.

Working Girl

Today, I would like to share a story with you. I thought it was rather funny in a way, but I can imagine that some of you might choose a different adjective.

During my lunch hour, I went to the Criminal Records Office on Thompson Boulevard to pick up my "character certificate." (Thinking about it, I find that an amusing term, too. Do I not have a character without it?) I had requested it online months ago, and the RBPF's website tells you processing would take about two weeks, but it took a little longer. That was to be expected. What I had not expected was that it would take me about one hour in the Criminal Records Office to finally get that piece of paper, for which I paid $2.50, for which I did not get a receipt even after requesting one. If it had been a hamburger, it would have been free at this stage.

While I was waiting there, a rather "interesting" (from a male perspective, at least) lady who had been standing in line walked up to the window as it was her turn now. As she was waiting at the window for the person behind it, whom you could not see, because Bahamian government employees refuse to show their faces to the public and therefore tint their windows to the extreme, her cell phone rang.

She took the call. She spoke rather loudly, and the entire waiting room could overhear her conversation. Surely, the police behind the window could, too.

Quickly, we learned that this was a business call - a potential new customer inquiring about services and rates. We very quickly learned about the lady's line of work, too, including services and prices. The latter I do not remember precisely for I was too surprised by the rest of her conversation.

The services she was offering - now remember, this was a loud cell phone conversation in a public office - included blow jobs, intercourse and anal... to one customer at a time or more than one... she could also offer the same services as a team with a colleague. Et cetera.

I found this rather amusing, because as far as I know, prostitution is illegal in the Bahamas, and she was standing inside the Criminal Records Office obviously applying for or picking up a "character certificate." Don't get me wrong now, personally, I think prostitution ought to be decriminalised, because you cannot root it out, and by decriminalising it you should at least be able to control some aspects of it, such as forced prostitution and human trafficking.

I also found it funny, because this lady was apparently comfortable enough in her own skin to have this conversation publicly, even though some of the jaws of those in the waiting area dropped. Audibly.

However, what I found most amusing about the entire episode was the reaction of the - uniformed - police standing by the door, who, when she left, asked her for her phone number. :D

Securing *Their* Future

Having the PLP's convention coincide with the end of what will soon become known as the "first Travolta trial," was certainly an eye-opener, because it became evident that no matter who is nominally in charge of the government, and no matter how theoretically independent our judiciary is, the strings still come together at the claws the yellow and blue and black crab. I must therefore commend Senior Justice Anita Allen, for she refused to give in to the pressure, when she discharged the jury and ordered a retrial.

The FNM mocked the PLP convention, I fear out of a routine reflex, but was nonetheless spot on. Their statement read, "The PLP was unable to decide on a theme. One minute it was 'securing the future.' This means their own future and careers, certainly not the future of the Bahamian people." (The Bahama Journal, 22 October 2009, p. 1.)

How else is one to explain that at least one jury member sworn to not discuss the case with anyone but their fellow jury members informs the convention of the state of the ongoing deliberations? How else is one to explain that a political convention offers their thanks to god when Picewell Forbes announced to the hypnotised crowd, "Pleasant is a free woman, PLPs! God is good, PLPs! Pleasant is a free woman!"

Remember, Pleasant Bridgewater and Tarino Lightbourne are charged with attempting to extort $25,000,000 from John Travolta, and while it is true that one should be considered innocent until proven guilty, the question of innocence versus guilt was not what got Forbes excited, it was the prospect of Bridgewater walking free and continuing her PLP career.

Shakespeare in Paradise?

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a local bar having a few happy hour drinks with friends and acquaintances, when I met one British expat. Someone in our round asked him how long he's been here, where he used to live before, etc. The usual routine. Then, when they were losing interest in his pre-Bahamas life story, they indicated so by making one final statement, "Well, it must have been quite a culture shock for you when you first came here."

His answer was nothing but brilliant. "No, I think of it more as a lack-of-culture shock," said he.

Immediately, some of the Bahamians present were quite offended and attempted a defense of their country, but to no avail, as quickly it became clear that we do lack a genuine, year-round cultural variety.

However, this is not to say that the Bahamas has no culture, and it is not to say that our cultural calendar does not have highlights. This week is one such highlight, when we are invited to - what are we doing, by the way... celebrate, partake, attend - the first "Shakespeare in Paradise" theatre festival.

Apart from the name, which I genuinely hope is ironic, because I would hate to think that the bright minds behind this festival have joined the scores of drones at the Ministry of Tourism who constantly reduce the Bahamas to a stereotypical paradise and refuse to confront reality, I trust that this programme will indeed satisfy a cultural appetite that is usually not well catered to in our islands. Therefore, I shall encourage my readers to go purchase their tickets.

And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Statistics

It is quite realistic to expect upwards of 90 (maybe even 100) murders in the Bahamas by year's end, as there usually will be an increase towards the end of the year. However, even if there is no increase, the number to be expected based upon the first 8 1/2 months of 2009 would be 88. That translates into a per capita murder rate of 27 per 100,000 inhabitants of this tiny nation. At this point, none of my readers are surprised, because these sad numbers are all too well known.

If I were to offer you the trip of a lifetime, an opportunity to visit Iraq... right now... would you go? Most people I have actually asked - hypothetically, of course, as I have no intentions of sending anyone halfway around the world - declined the offer. "I don't want to get myself killed," was a standard line.

Yet, taking things like nationality, ethnicity or race out of the equation, your odds of being killed right here in the Bahamas are higher. Iraq's murder rate for 2008 (and this included war, civil unrest and terrorism) was "only" 21 per 100,000 inhabitants. As far as I can tell, the expected figure for 2009 is slightly lower still.

Things that make you go hmmm...

Bec's Bahamas Nightmare

It's been a while, I know, and I beg your forgiveness. Turns out, finding a topic to write about when all hell breaks loose at work, isn't always easy. However, this one, I personally find most interesting. Less for the article it was inspired by, but rather for the Bahamian reaction to it.

Apparently, Lleyton and Bec Hewitt bought a mansion in the Old Fort Bay gated community and have taken up residence in New Providence. Great. I *have* heard of Lleyton Hewitt, because some of my family are really into professional tennis (I'm not), and he is an Australian tennis star. Bec Hewitt is his wife, the article tells me. The article also suggests that she is a celebrity in her own right. Great. Bec who? Ah, Bec from "Home and Away." Home and what? Ah, an Australian soap opera. I repeat: Bec who? Home and what?

Let's look at some of the statements made in the article:

"... in reality, the 197-hectare "village" is a gilded cage, surrounded by spiked fences and barbed wire." Check. Old Fort Bay and similar gateed communities are gilded cages. (Though the residents' captivity is chosen and thus voluntary.)

"Just 25 minutes drive away, locals live in abject poverty in the slums of Nassau..." Check. 25 minutes driving will (if it's not rush hour) take you anywhere on New Providence, and there are areas we could justifiably call slums, where people do live in abject poverty.

"... neighbours warn that it's is a dangerous place blighted by crime, poverty and high unemployment." Check, check and check. Our crime rate per capita is shamefully high, and currently, unemployment is also high, caused not only by the current economic crisis, but also by the poor educational standards in the country.

"Armed robberies are commonplace, and last week a 34-year-old mother of three became the country's 53rd murder victim this year when she was gunned down metres from a church. A few days later two more people were killed." I didn't check the numbers, but do you seriously want to contest them? You may find out that we've gone way past 55 since August 28, when the article was published.

"... most of the residents are retired bankers and businessmen." Also true. How many 28-year-olds can afford a mansion in a gated community out West?

"Adding to her loneliness is the fact that while Lleyton is instantly recognised by the sports crazy locals, no-one has any idea who former Home And Away star Bec is." I repeat: Bec who? Home and what?

No, what's really disconcerting are the reactions that many Bahamians put as comments under the article, which have forced Lleyton and Bec Hewitt to declare in "The Tribune" that they never said any of this. They may not have, you will notice that the only direct quote in the article is from their gardener. But that's beside the point. Annette Witheridge got it quite right.

Bahamians are jumping to the defense of their country, claiming that the Hewitts and/or this article are "dissing" the Bahamas. Bahamians are either in active denial of the fact that we have a high crime rate, or they are delusional when they think that other countries with similarly high GDPs experience similarly high crime rates.

Bahamian reality is that everyone I know in Nassau has burglar bars. Bahamian reality is that everyone I know in Nassau either had their house broken into or knows somebody whose house was broken into. Bahamian reality is that everybody I know in Nassau knows at least one murder victim. Bahamian reality is that, even in the downtown area, women don't walk from a club to their car by themselves at night.

I sent out an e-mail to friends in the United States, Canada, Australia, and a number of European countries. Nobody has burglar bars. Nobody had their house broken into. Ever. (One person knew somebody who did though.) Nobody personally knew a murder victim. Everybody said, "Of course I walk to my car alone, and no, I am not scared when I do so."

Bahamians, wake up! Our country *does* have some serious problems, and no, this is *not* normal in the 21st-century (semi-)developed world!!